Building Successful Careers

The Hard Truth About Soft Skills: Workplace Lessons Smart People Wish They'd Learned Sooner (Paperback) Interesting book, a lot of tips and truth about corporate America culture. Easy reading. Elizabeth Xu

When I first came to the States, I was very lucky to know Pat and Lou. They helped me tremendously during my first few years in the United States. Lou was an extraordinary man, he was in his 80s when I met him in the early 1990s. Lou had taught at Stanford University, he also served as a Colonel in the US Air Force during World War II, Korea and Viet Nam. He was a great engineer and a successful business man. Lou devoted time and energy to mentoring and helping others throughout his life. I asked Lou one day: "Why do you spend so much time helping me and other people you have never met before?” Lou smiled back: "I help you because, you have a good heart, you work hard and you are very smart,  I believe that you can be more successful with my help.  You will help others to become more successful because of your good heart. I will not live that long to see your success, but it will become my legacy whether I see it or not.” Indeed, he didn’t live that long to see all

Many people ask me how I motivate myself. I respond, "How do you motivate others? Are you positive or critical?" Pat and I have talked about this topic many times. This morning, Pat just said in a very point blank way: “You need to love yourself!” Many high-achievers are extremely critical of themselves. They frequently beat themselves up for the most minor mishaps. They never feel they have done enough to make themselves and their families proud. Being introspective is not a bad thing, indeed, it helps you avoid being aloof and keeps you working harder towards your goals. Being overly critical of yourself however, plays an opposite role when you start to blame yourself for every unfortunate event in your life. It becomes a heavy load that drags you deeper and deeper into a sea of hopelessness and despair. You may spend all your efforts fighting the darkness and end up drowning in depression. Depression kills your spirit, creativity and dreams. Life without dreams a

Recently, I spoke to the Association of Woman in Science (AWIS), a group of highly intelligent professional women. To my surprise, one member asked the question about glass ceiling that I didn't expect from this group of highly accomplished women. The young lady, a Ph.D. Student at Stanford asked me what I think about it and how I broke it. Some very accomplished women were raised by their families that they were less important than their brothers. They carry that concept with them, and accept unfair treatment and blame their gender for all their lost opportunities. Gradually, they fail to pursue their opportunities aggressively and eventually lose their drive to compete with men. Over the time, their glass ceiling becomes a concrete ceiling or a steel ceiling, totally blocking their vision, drive and opportunity of career advancement. They live with the resentment and bitterness of not having equal opportunities. My answer has always been, "The whatever ceiling first res

What Got You Here Won't Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful (Hardcover) by Marshall Goldsmith (Author), Mark Reiter (Author) This book helps you to identify gaps between managers and executives, a easy reading. Enjoy.

My friend is an accomplished professional. She constantly deals with big clients. Recently, she worked on a complex business negotiation with her company's largest client. The client was very skillful in applying various negotiation skills including changing positions, escalating and blaming her for delays, renegotiating terms back and forth. She struggled through the long and unpleasant negotiation process. Finally, every party was satisfied and the deal was made. But she felt bruised inside and out. When we went to lunch to celebrate the success, she questioned if could she do better given the same case again in the future. "What's the most troublesome issue you faced?" I asked my puzzled friend. She lamented, "Communications with the client, internal business partners and my boss. Everything became convoluted, the client's negotiation techniques mixed with their hidden agenda. I was accused of being the defensive and making many excuses. Some information

The world is an ever changing place and the pace of the change is accelerating. Holding on what we have, life style, working style, existing technology, communication style and etc is no longer realistic in this world. Our career or jobs will change at least 7 times in our lifetime. One of my friends called today and joked about the only people whose lives were not affected by this downturn in business are those on social security. I joked back, it won't be true for long when inflation hits the country. The choice is up to you: resist the change, accept the change, adapt to the change or embrace of the change. At end of the day, whether you are willing to change or not, your life is going to be different. How does one embrace the change? Positive attitude and ability to anticipate the trend enable you to embrace the change. Each week, free yourself from your daily busy work and schedule four+ hours for research and learning new things. Your research will quickly show y

During my recent talk at Microsoft, a program manager shared her frustration on having trouble making quick decisions with very limited data, say 10-20% of data. Her manager considers this ability is one of the major indicators of professional maturity. I agree with her manager. But how can one make quick decisions with very limited data? The key is to become systematic in the decision making process. Summarize and build decision making models that take a few parameters. If you constructed many simulation models in the business world, you can change a few parameters and provide quick conclusions. Once these models become part of your thought process and part of your intuition, you can accelerate your decision making process significantly. Of course, you can always compare with incoming data and validate your conclusions again. Observe the senior people around you as they face the same challenges. Find out how they come up with quick decisions and why they think the way they do. Y

Stress is caused by problems and issues. The best way to release stress is to write down your problems and issues, focus all your thinking and energy to discover the solution. Elizabeth Xu

Leadership Passages: The Personal and Professional Transitions That Make or Break a Leader by David Dotlich This book is for senior executives who went through life change events. It is a easy read and provides interesting suggestions for anyone who are going through any dramatic life events, such as promotions, layoffs, new job, lost loved ones, starting a company, moving to foreign country to start a new career... Publisher Comments: Predict and Survive the Make-or-Break Crises You Will Face in the Course of Your Career "Leadership Passages describes systematically that it is far more effective and compelling to build on both successes and failures, rather than trying to overlook or even ignore the valuable lessons that unavoidable adversity in both our personal and business lives can teach us." –Daniel Vasella, chairman and CEO, Novartis "If you want to succeed and have inner peace at the same time, then this book is for you." –Ram Charan, coauthor, Execution: T

My son is an excellent baseball player; he is fast, strategic and calm under stress. This year, he is on a great team. They won the Saratoga AAA Little League Championship two weeks ago. The team advanced to the Regional Minor Tournament of Champions. Everyone was excited. The coaches and team practiced everyday. They won the first game on Saturday. They won the 2nd game on Monday. They won the 3rd game on Tuesday. Then they entered the final. It was a tough game. Luck was not on our side. Many hits were caught in mid of air, there were two questionable calls from the umpires and the team got frustrated. My son scored but the team lost the game. They are in the 2nd place. The final game wiped all recent victories, everyone felt defeated instead of enjoying the great season. I know I was one of them. My son and I walked to my car, I asked him: "How do you feel?" His face was still calm, showing neither excitement nor disappointment. "Mom, it is okay”, he said. “ I l

The Business Style Handbook: An A-to-Z Guide for Writing on the Job with Tips from Communications Experts at the Fortune 500 (Paperback) by Helen Cunningham (Author), Brenda Greene (Author) This books is very helpful if English is your 2nd language.

My friend lost his job recently and has been actively interviewing for a new one. Last month he came out of an interview, calling his best friends, telling us how excited he was. He felt challenged by the hiring manager, by his energy, vision and ambitions. We all hoped he would get his dream job. But he didn’t. One of the stakeholders did not approve hiring him. We felt very sorry for him. He went to another interview a few days ago, another good opportunity; we were all excited for him and kept our fingers crossed. He called me after his interview; his voice was low, filled with sadness. He said he felt he would be “managed not challenged” by the hiring manager during the interview. How sad! being managed and not challenged! A creative mind that is challenged generates excellent ideas. A great leader sets the bar high, exudes high energy and challenges and inspires his employees. A good manager could use a matter of fact attitude, gather all facts about all the candidates, compare

The long weekend is coming, another perfect time to network and find new opportunities. One of my friends complained to me:” I having been seeing the same friends in the same professions for 20 years, they are my competitors in the job market, I am not motivated to network with them!” I sort of agree with her. I suggested her try something different, something I called “Orthogonal Network”, instead of networking with the group of people who have the same professions, network with people who are in the same field, but in different roles. For example: If you are an engineer, try to network with an accountant, a sales person or marketing person, and vice versa. If you are a controller, you might want to network with a VC, CEO or another executive. These friends in orthogonal roles know what’s going on in their companies and will recommend you to the openings in their company without feeling been threatened.

Rocking climbing was my son’s top choice to celebrate his 11th birthday; he was going to challenge himself as well as his friends. His younger brother was not sure whether he should join the group. One hour before the party my friend called and asked if her 7 year old could join the rock climbing party. My younger son heard our conversation; he decided to join the troop. Climbing the 20 foot wall was an easy task for my older son. He conquered every single wall the instructor suggested. But it was a hard task for other 11 year old boys. One of them quit after he reached 5 feet, two of them quit after 10 feet. “It was too hard, it is too high, I am afraid of heights” the boys told others when they finally touched the floor. My younger son followed in his older brother’s footsteps, his legs were trembling, he struggled, rested and struggled again. With his family cheering him on, he finally reached the top. Then he struggled even harder to get down. He would not let go and slid

"If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem." Jerks hardly bring any solution but problems and complains one after another. If you run into notorious jerks in your life, both personal and professional, you are not alone. Dealing with jerks needs maturity and stronger mental strength. Practicing the following tips is helpful: 1) Never lower yourself to the jerk’s level. Try to elevate the conversation to your level, be professional, productive and solution driven. 2) Hear their complaints and acknowledge that you heard them. 3) Ask them for the solution (what needs to be done logically, not emotionally) and go over the consequences of their proposed solution or let them know you are going to evaluate their solution if you are not ready to go over their solutions. 4) Stop the conversation if the jerk starts to bring you down to his/her level. 5) Remind the jerk that you both are on the same team, you are not fighting a battle with him and you are here t

Two Great books to help you understand people and help you build your network. Easy books to read. 1. Vital Friends: The People You Can't Afford to Live Without by Tom Rath 2. How Full Is Your Bucket? Educator's Edition: Positive Strategies for Work and Life by Tom Rath and Donald O. Clifton Enjoy

Many leaders are proud of their ability to attend to details and put their team members in action. It certainly is a great leadership trait. I also witness many leaders who put high pressure on their team every minute asking for meaningless details. Their goal is not about moving toward a strategic direction, but control. By directing their teams to do unnecessary tasks, they satisfy a personal craving to control every single detail. They remind me of a microwave oven. A microwave oven generates heat by spinning water molecules back and forth but it doesn't move them anywhere. Be an inspiring leader, not a microwave oven kills individual creativity and passion. Be a goal, result oriented leader, not a heat generating microwave oven.

In the 1300s, Timbuktu was a mud hut built on top of salt and gold mines. The city was full of gold. The wise King Mansa Musa had a grand vision of a golden kingdom. King Mansa Musa decided to carry tons of gold while traveling to the holy city of Mecca. He gave away his gold along the way. When he reached Mecca, his gold was gone but his name was golden. People no long thought Timbuktu was a mud hut; they imagined a city shining like gold. The wise king brought back knowledge, books about laws, math and more. Scholars and architects returned with the king and built the golden city envisioned by King Mansa Musa, turning the mud huts into a center of learning, culture, religion and trade. A true civilized golden kingdom was born. In the modern age,Bill Gates gave away much of his fortune, significantly improving the image of Microsoft while avoiding many lawsuits and gaining the respect of the world. When you give away your gold, your name is golden. We all have many

Tip Number 5: Use closed captioning on your television set. Activate the closed caption feature on your television set so you can see and hear the words at the same time. You retain 20% of what you see, and 40% of what you see and hear. Closed captions are not always completely accurate, but they are tools that can be very useful to you. Try it.

100 Ways to Motivate Others: How Great Leaders Can Produce Insane Results Without Driving People Crazy   by Steve Chandler and Scott Richardson Many excellent tips about inspiring your team members . Very useful handbook for managers at current situation. 

Tip Number 4: Speak English at home. Declare an English only time at home. Get agreement with your family members that you will speak only English between certain times, perhaps during the dinnertime. Ask each family member open-ended questions (questions that cannot be answered with a yes or no) so they will have to speak more English. I know it is difficult, but oh so rewarding because your English skills get better and better. ---Pat Zimmerman

Tip Number 3: Read and/or listen to talking books. Use your commute time listening to talking books in English. You can kill two birds with one stone (achieve two objectives with a single effort) by listening to self-help books. If you don’t want to listen to books…find time to read books in English. ---Pat Zimmerman

100 Ways To Motivate Yourself: Change Your Life Forever by Steve Chandler The hardest person to motivate is yourself, if you could keep yourself motivated all time, your life certainly would be changed forever.

Tip Number 2: Volunteer to give presentations at work or for an organization where you are a member. You stretch yourself to grow and develop better language skills while building confidence in speaking before an audience. We retain 20% of what we see, 40% of what we see and hear, 80% of what we see, hear and do and 90% of what we see, hear, do and teach.

Tip Number 1: Speak only English at your workplace. The best thing you can do for yourself when you are learning a new language is to surround yourself with the language. That is exactly why people go to the country where the language they are learning is spoken. Venture out of your comfort zone (where you speak mostly your first language) and find ways to practice English. If you speak a language that others cannot understand, they tend to resent it and think you are talking about them…telling secrets or making fun. The more you speak English, the more self-confidence you gain. Your skills just keep getting better. ---Pat Zimmerman

Many of our readers are immigrants or first-generation Americans and need to improve their English language skills. Why? Actually, you can live your entire life in the United States without speaking, reading or writing English…if you live in the right place. There are Chinese/Korean/Japanese/Spanish doctors, dentists, bankers and grocers. People have many reasons for not improving their English: I do not have time to work on my English; I am busy working and raising a family; my children will learn good English skills in school. You are fooling yourself if you tell yourself these things. You really will never get ahead in this country without speaking, reading and writing English fairly well. Learning the language of the country where you live broadens your world, opens up opportunities, gives you freedom, helps you gain general acceptance of others and makes your children proud of you. By learning the language, you widen your world. You can enjoy movies, television shows, plays

My two boys started skiing at 4 years old since their parents love the sport. When my older son turned four, we were so excited and took him with us to the mountains. We put him in ski class with tears. One hour later, my husband decided to check on our son. To his surprise, he found my four year old was on the lift all by himself. How dangerous! My husband took him out of class immediately. I asked him if he wanted to ski with Mommy instead of going back to the class. The four year old loved the idea. We put him on the lift with us and jumped off the lift with him. At the top of the hill, I put him in-between my skis, we laughed all the way to the bottom of the hill. He enjoyed it so much, swooping down the slopes while still under the protection of his mother. I lifted him up when we ran into bumps or when we had a sharp turn or a stop. I enjoyed teaching him to ski and still remember how little he was 6 years ago. The second day, I tied a strap around his waist and held him from the

My mentor Harry, Former Chairman of the Board, once called me in his office, " Elizabeth, do you like ballet?" "Of course, I love ballet!" " How about hockey games?" " I only watched a few times, but they seem quite exciting." " Running business is like directing a ballet. You have planned the story line, plot and actions. You direct the show day in and day out, always making it perfect so everything seems smooth and effortless. As the director of the show, you give directions to your dancers. More importantly you provide the stage for them to perform, mentoring and coaching them to their highest potential. This is the highest level of leadership. Hockey games are surely exciting. You chase after the puck. The puck is flying everywhere. The team is reacting as quickly as possible with many random actions… that is a game, not a business. If you want to build a profitable business, you have to plan, direct, coach and mentor your people. Develo

I have talked to many friends who have lost their jobs in the recent economic downswing. Losing your job is sad in this shaky job market and I am amazed to discover what my friends are doing during their downtime. Here is a list of how some of them are putting their time to good use: 1) Start a dream business, or provide advice to others on how to start a business 2) Volunteer in their children’s activities, become a coach 3) Volunteer in non-profit organizations, help others 4) Network with a positive attitude 5) Write books and articles 6) Explore long term goals and passions, put a plan together and start to execute the plan 7) Exercise intensively 8) Offer free services to companies that eventually turned into their clients 9) Send resumes selectively and follow up diligently. By filling your life with some of the above activities, there is little time to be depressed. Accept the layoff and use your free time positively. A friend recently shared his layoff experience with me. He lo

I have been asked many times about competing with others. New graduates have asked me how to compete with experienced professionals; experienced professionals have asked how to compete with offshore cheap resources. These questions came from fear of the unknown. My answer has been, “Don't compete with others, compete with yourself." I believe that every individual is a star, made of strengths and weaknesses. If you try to compete with thousands of people equipped with thousands of different strengths, you put yourself into a meaningless panic mode, chasing someone else's tail every second. If a company is chasing every competitor, it puts itself in the same situation and loses its direction. You can only have one brand effectively. Let's fly to 1000 feet and take a five-year look forward at yourself and your competitors. Identify your strengths and weaknesses. Pick one or two areas where you would like to improve. Then compete whole-heartedly in these limited areas. Wi

Attitude 101: What Every Leader Needs to Know (101 Series) by John C. Maxwell (Hardcover - Jan 3, 2003) Excellent book for leaders to motivate themselves and their teams. It helps you to anchor yourself in the fast downward situation.

Steve Jobs' 2005 Stanford Commenceme nt Address Recommended by one of our readers.  When you look back in the future, you would connect all dots and appreciate the struggles and initiatives you have today. Here is the link to Steve Job's story: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UF8uR6Z6KLc

Most of our communication in the business world is done on a one-to-one basis or through announcements in a conference setting.   Consider using another effective way to communicate and get connected with your people, customers and business partners’ - parallel communication. Parallel communication means that you are talking to people while you are doing something else together. For example if you have difficulty talking with your teenage children, you might want to join them in cleaning their messy rooms. While working together, take this opportunity to chat with them.   Ask about their friends, what they are doing in school; ask their opinions about the things happening around them.   Usually they will open up the communication channel between you. Hiking, playing games, dining, watching games and movies together are all good opportunities for parallel communication where you can strengthen the bond between you and your children and friends. Team building activities at work are for